'You are not alone'
One day several years ago President James E. Faust, who was then second counselor in the First Presidency, spent a few moments in personal conversation with an individual he had known for many years who had stopped by his office. After a business matter was taken care of, they engaged in personal conversation. At one point, knowing that his visitor lived alone and had no family members nearby, President Faust asked, "How are you doing?"
The visitor said, "Quite well. I stay busy with work and Church. There's always something to do."
President Faust said nothing. The visitor paused a moment, sensing that President Faust was waiting for further comment, and then added, "I have to admit that I feel quite lonely, even though I have a rewarding career and enjoy my Church calling. I go to a lot of places and see a lot of people, but I feel that I'm all alone in the world."
With his trademark smile that communicated kindness, compassion and understanding, President Faust said, "But you are not alone. You are never really alone."
A telephone call at that moment brought the conversation to an abrupt end. But enough had been communicated. President Faust's words hit their mark and, to this day, reverberate in the visitor's memory much as sound resonates long after the last strike on a tuning fork: "You are not alone."
President Faust was keenly aware of the loneliness that permeates the lives of many members of the Church, especially those who haven't married, are widowed or divorced. In the early 1970s, when he was an Assistant to the Quorum of the Twelve, he helped introduce the Melchizedek Priesthood MIA, a special interest program for Church members over 30 years of age who were single for one reason or another. As a member of the Quorum of the Twelve and the First Presidency, he often counseled them in general, area and stake conferences and firesides.
At a meeting during the Toronto Canada Area Conference in 1979, he directed his message primarily to single sisters of the Church and emphasized "potentials and horizons rather than any supposed limitations."
He said that when he was president of the International Mission he reviewed the tithing sent by members of the Church throughout the world not living in organized missions or stakes. Each year, he noticed that every month an envelope and tithing contribution came from Lucille Sargent, a Latter-day Saint living in what was then Peking, China. He learned that she had been in the Foreign Service of the United States for more than 20 years, living in remote areas, most of the time alone. She was not married.
There were no other Latter-day Saints in Peking. When President Faust and his wife, Ruth, finally met Sister Sargent, Sister Faust asked her how she managed to maintain her spiritual strength when she was all alone. Sister Sargent replied, "I prayed aloud every day. . . . On Sunday I would sing some hymns and pray aloud and read the scriptures." She said that when she was considering her assignments, she would tell her supervisors, "I can take these difficult posts. I have special help."
Sister Sargent lived away from family, friends and fellow Saints, but she knew she was not alone.
Serving others, whether in the Church, community, extended family or among peers and friends, is a principal way to dispel the feeling of being alone. The service need not be what President Faust described as "the showcase variety involving notoriety and publicity," but the Christlike quality of service on a one-to-one basis.
"Many single members of the Church feel that their bitterness overflows, and they wrongfully think that this cup passes others by," President Faust said. "In His first words to the people on this continent, Jesus of Nazareth Himself poignantly spoke of the bitter cup the Father had given Him (see 3 Nephi 11:11). Every married or single soul has some bitterness to swallow. Parents having a child who loses his way come to know a sorrow that defies description. A woman whose husband is cruel or insensitive can break her heart every day. Having drunk the bitter cup, however, there comes a time when one must accept the situation as it is and reach upward and outward. . . .
"I have now lived long enough to know that, whatever our situation, our troubles melt and disappear like frost in the morning sun when we dwell upon our blessings rather than our disappointments. No matter how pessimistic one's view may become of the times and the seasons, we can always fall back on special friendship, on faithful, personal love, and on simple, true dealings in our own personal lives" ("Married or Single: Look beyond Yourself," Ensign, March 1980).
President Faust's words still ring true: "You are not alone."
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